After that complete non sequitur, you guys probably want a more normal film review. Well, I'll give you one, although the film is anything but normal. Like many films of this time, it was an Italian co-production. Basically, they did everything, but cast a bunch of Americans in it and set it in the United States. Ha ha ha...compromise. This film, sadly, made barely a blip on the radar and has only been resurrected on DVD. So, was it worth the use of a Biblical jargon? Find out in my review of...
The film begins with a man being led to the electric chair. Ah, this must be a comedy. No, in reality, the man is a biker gang leader that was found guilty of murdering a young lady's sister. He swears that he is innocent and that he will get revenge for this. Those seem to be in contrast, don't they? Thankfully, they spare us his actual death at the chair's...um, hands. Unfortunately, it cuts right to really bad 80s music. Why are we being punished with him?!?
*
We are introduced to the setting: Hollywood, Florida. Actually, they never say, other than a bench sign. Just to note, the police cars say Manatee County on them, which is...let's just say that the two places are not even close together. The sheriff (John Saxon of...lots of shit), police commissioner and the local priest are worried about Spring Break happening right after an execution. Eh, we're used to it down here. Oh and the gang he was in charge of is still in town. I'm sure they will not cause trouble. Later that night, a hitchhiker is killed by a mysterious biker. Apparently, he has a giant Die Hard battery on the back of it. Note that this is the only comparison between this film and Die Hard.
*
More teens go down, but, in the meantime, let's meet the cast first. Our lead is a College football player who made a bad play at a big game. His buddy wants to help him get drunk and forget it, while also looking to get laid...a lot. He has more condoms than Neo had guns in the lobby scene from The Matrix. They run into a surly bar maiden who makes our annoying friend all hot and bothered. What's her problem? It's not like she's surrounded by drunken men AND her sister was murdered. Oh, those things are both true? Sucks to be her. We also get about six or seven other subplots, including a young woman who just up and decides to become a hooker to keep her room and a jerk who keeps faking his death. Yeah, that happens all the time.
*
The killings are, in a word, ridiculous. A few times the killer 'tricks' people into touching the jumpers on the back of his bike, which of course, do not effect his motort at all. One girl is actually knocked out, tied up with chains and killed with fire from a furnace. By turning it up to full, it apparently can shoot out four feet and turn the girl into a melting dummy. But who is this mysterious killer? Is it the undead biker? It is the mysterious and overly-grizzled cop? Is it the preacher who has almost no role, but keeps showing up? This mystery is more look an episode of Scooby-Doo than an Agatha Christie novel.
*
This movie is pretty damn stupid. It is directed by Umberto Lenzi (credited under a very fake American name), the man known for directed such gory films as Eaten Alive and Cannibal Ferox. This is not like those movies. The funny part is that you can see where the Italian influence comes in. As soon as the killer shows up, the Claudio Simonetti score kicks in, directly in contrast with the cheesy crap that fills the rest of it. The movie is fun and silly enough to laugh at. The creepiest part comes when the two leads end up discovering BDSM gear in John Saxon's house. Eww. You can do worse with movies of this same caliber- the Black Cobra series for one. There are four of those damn things!
*
You want more Zombi reviews? Really? If you insist. Stay tuned...
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